Who is to blame-The man’s wife or the man?

11 Jan

 I wrote this post sometimes ago, but a good friend told me the issues i was writing about were very sensitive and i should give it more thought before i publish it. So i removed it from the blog. I recently sent a printed copy of the article to another friend who said it was good  and i should put it back. please comment on this topic.

–If there is one thing i really dread, it’s to be looked down by a fellow citizen or to look inferior in the eyes of men. There is this guy I know, a radio technician in my town, every time  this guy cross my path i can’t help but feel pity for him. I don’t know if its pity or mercy  i feel for him but all the same, my heart skips a beat. It’s not because of something this guy did, but it all has to do with the woman he married .

It happened sometimes back  that, i walk into a room i was hosting  a friend from shags and there in my bed was  the technician’s wife with my friend. What i show was not the shocking part cos it was not the first time to see people in compromising situation but, later that evening, i  passed by the radio guy’s house to collect a car audio he had been working on and i found the guy and his wife fondling on the sofa sharing a plate of food.

That incident has stack with me ever since. I really hate this woman although i did not tell the guy, i completely lost trust in another human being to such a point that i entertained the thought of never having one called by my name.

It is quite humiliating for any man to even think that another man looks at him and see’s a very foolish man and a weak one for that matter. What is even worse is knowing that the other guy is a welcomed guest in his house. I know a few of my  work mates who had to deal with very severe cases of depression after discovering that their wife’s had cheated on them with fellow Matatu drivers. Some ended the relationships but even those who hanged on probably because of the children still lead miserable life’s due to the insecurity and lack of trust in their marriage.I know a guy who was honestly dedicated to his family but after the discovery, he become a drunkard who sleeps with even the local known prostitutes. He is still married but i fear he could have exposed himself to HIV.

I had a girl friend once who was all i would have wanted i.e she had a good family back ground, she was well-informed on current affairs and religion, but somewhere in the cause of our relationship, i happened to go through her profile; As much as i tried to console myself that i had no reason to be alarmed, She had too many loose screws and i could not imagine sharing her with some other guy. the incident i had seen with the technician’s wife would not let me find peace with my soul. I had planned to marry her by the end of the year but i ended up leaving her. I still feel guilty about the relationship but i guess guilt is less painful than humiliation.

. It is said that; The measure of a man’s true character is what he would do if he was sure nobody would find out. I guess the measure of a good wife’s character is what she would do if she was 100% positive her husband would never find out.

Every man dreams of a wife he would be proud to show the whole world; but i don’t think there is any who is will to share.


Posted by on January 11, 2012 in Matatu matters



6 responses to “Who is to blame-The man’s wife or the man?

  1. ciku

    March 24, 2011 at 8:19 am

    Wambururu, do not only hate the woman, hate the man she is having an affair with for betraying his friend. It is a rotten society we live in, and we can only play our part to be rotten. If you hate every person who cheats, you will end up hating 3/4 of the world’s population. Not defending cheaters here, but, I think we should look for the root cause of what is happening, and work on that! Good post.

  2. Mendi

    January 11, 2012 at 6:53 pm

    Sad story but there’s nothing new or surprising here. How many men are there for every woman who cheats on her man? Countless. Just because men are more likely to cheat (and it’s the general opinion that they do) doesn’t mean women don’t get the same urges. People, both men and women, are human and subject to flaws. Don’t act shocked when your stereotypical view is proved wrong.

    • wambururu

      January 13, 2012 at 2:19 pm

      I get your point of view and its true there is always a woman for every man who cheat. But simply because everyone is cheating doesn’t make cheating part of the marriage package,. Cheating may be measly talked about in the streets and over a beer but when it affect a person close to you, you start noticing the other effects that follows.
      I agree with Ciku–look for the root cause and work on that.
      Thanks Mendi for a thoughtful reply

  3. Wamae wa Karanja

    January 12, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    Bollocks! It takes two to tango Ciku. We can’t hate the man or the woman. Let’s hate the vice.

    Wambururu, you have to take a chance on love, it us better to have loved and lost than to never love at all.
    someone said that.

    Toss your heart in the ring bro!

    • wambururu

      January 13, 2012 at 2:27 pm

      There you say it- but its easily said than done. Please somebody tell me what is causing this. Is it okay to cheat and if yes what is the need of taking the vows, shouldn’t we just sign contracts?

  4. David

    January 17, 2012 at 1:10 am

    Marriage has no strategy and by cheating you are trying to right a wrong which is not justifiable by both God and our society. What do you get after the nasty act? Guilt that you will carry for the rest of your life, the husband may be will never know hence still enjoying his marriage. Lets hope the husband doesn’t start when the wife decide to stop.


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