I versus me.

16 Mar

Perhaps its only me but I guess there are others out there who have the same problem  i have. And this problem is distinguishing between what I really want and what the forces that determine who I am  wants. I don’t know whether to call them forces or voices, but what I mean are the different personalities that comes alive in me at different circumstances.

On one hand I’m a preacher of the good news. I’m not a pastor at any church, but nevertheless Preaching  is the main principle that takes the center stage in my life. I preach Jesus who was born of Mary and was baptized of John and received the holy spirit from God. I  tell my friends, family and anyone who crosses my path to do what Jesus told Nicodemus to do if he wanted to see the kingdom of God, and that is; to be baptized  by water to receive the holy spirit. I have helped quite a number find their strength back after being baptized in the name of Jesus.

On a different settings , I’m a matatu driver and probably one of the best. If you are a Kenyan you know what being the best matatu driver really means, I’m one of those who drive on the side walks, overlapping, using bypasses and the obvious cutting in on slow vehicles. I mostly drive the fancy types, the ones fitted with  slick alloy rims, fully loaded music system and state of the art designs. In a single day, I break almost every traffic law in the book, sometimes, i bribe my way out in-case I get caught. Did I mention that I take home some extra cash, well that happens like four times in a week. This me the matatu driver then goes home at the end of the day and becomes yet another person.

I am a father and a husband, That is to say that, there are other souls somewhere whose future is most likely to be influenced by the choices I make and how i relate with them.  I don’t know what kind of father I am, but i know I don’t make one of the best husbands. I have my ups and downs like everybody else, but  judging by how my kids are facing life everyday, I guess I’m not the worst father either. When I’m at home, I take on a different role, that  of a teacher, not necessarily preaching or teaching the word, but like a shepherd watching and setting the boundaries and also providing  guidelines where education{knowledge} and good behaviors is concerned. I might not have provided them with everything they would desire to have but i have neither denied them most of the basics for survival.

Still in yet another setting, I’m an artist; a writer, a public speaker and an actor. When i change to this mode, everything about me changes, the language,  stance, facial expression. I become like one of the learned, i walk the walk and talk the talk. I have  a website for my artistic work. i call it wambururu’s blogs. I have posted blogs  in articles on my views and observation  about the matatu industry and life in general.

The four personalities i have described above have nothing to do with what i really want but i see them as the work of the forces that operates within me. My desire in life is to find peace with God, make enough wealth and raise a God-fearing family and most of all enjoy a good health while writing and directing movies. I guess that explains why i preach,{to find peace with God} drive matatu{to feed my family and make wealth} and write{to build a public profile}

While I try to see what life has in store for me I will continue just being me or us for that matter.

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Posted by on March 16, 2011 in Its life



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